What is a narcissistic husband like

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Privacy Policy. The word narcissism gets tossed around a lot in our selfie-obsessed, celebrity-driven culture, often to describe someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves. Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centered, arrogant thinking and behavior, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration.

Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronizing, and demanding. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others. However, by understanding more about narcissistic personality disorder, you can spot the narcissists in your life, protect yourself from their power plays, and establish healthier boundaries.

Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things. They will often exaggerate or outright lie about their achievements and talents. They are the undisputed star and everyone else is at best a bit player. They spin self-glorifying fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, attractiveness, and ideal love that make them feel special and in control.

These fantasies protect them from feelings of inner emptiness and shame, so facts and opinions that contradict them are ignored or rationalized away. Anything that threatens to burst the fantasy bubble is met with extreme defensiveness and even rage, so those around the narcissist learn to tread carefully around their denial of reality.

The occasional compliment is not enough. Narcissists need constant food for their ego, so they surround themselves with people who are willing to cater to their obsessive craving for affirmation. These relationships are very one-sided. Because they consider themselves special, narcissists expect favorable treatment as their due. They truly believe that whatever they want, they should get. They also expect the people around them to automatically comply with their every wish and whim.

That is their only value. In other words, they lack empathy. In many ways, they view the people in their lives as objects—there to serve their needs. Sometimes this interpersonal exploitation is malicious, but often it is simply oblivious. The only thing they understand is their own needs. Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular.

Their defense mechanism is contempt. The only way to neutralize the threat and prop up their own sagging ego is What is a narcissistic husband like put those people down. They may do it in a patronizing or dismissive way as if to demonstrate how little the other person means to them.

Or they may go on the attack with insults, name-calling, bullyingand threats to force the other person back into line. Narcissists can be very magnetic and charming. They are What is a narcissistic husband like good at creating a fantastical, flattering self-image that draw us in. Your sole value to the narcissist is as someone who can tell them how great they are to prop up their insatiable ego. Look at the way the narcissist treats others. If the narcissist lies, manipulates, hurts, and disrespects others, he or she will eventually treat you the same way.

Take off the rose-colored glasses.

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Denial will not make it go away. The reality is that narcissists are very resistant to change, so the true question you must ask yourself is whether you can live like this indefinitely. Focus on your own dreams. What do you want to change in your life? What gifts would you like to develop? What fantasies do you need to give up in order to create a more fulfilling reality? Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and caring.

Because of this, narcissists regularly violate the boundaries of others. Narcissists think nothing of going through or borrowing your possessions without asking, snooping through your mail and personal correspondence, eavesdropping on conversations, barging in without an invitation, stealing your ideas, and giving you What is a narcissistic husband like opinions and advice.

They may even tell you what to think and feel. Make a plan. Set yourself up for success by carefully considering your goals and the potential obstacles. What are the most important changes you hope to achieve? What is the balance of power between you and how will that impact your plan?

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How will you enforce your new boundaries? Answering these questions will help you evaluate your options and develop a realistic plan. Consider a gentle approach. If preserving your relationship with the narcissist is important to you, you will have to tread softly.

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By pointing out their hurtful or dysfunctional behavior, you are damaging their self-image of perfection. Try to deliver your message calmly, respectfully, and as gently as possible. Focus on how their behavior makes you feel, rather than on their motivations and intentions.

If they respond with anger and defensiveness, try to remain calm. Walk away if need be and revisit the conversation later. You can count on the narcissist to rebel against new boundaries and test your limits, so be prepared. Follow up with any consequences specified. Be prepared for other changes in the relationship.

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The narcissist will feel threatened and upset by your attempts to take control of your life. They are used to calling the shots. To compensate, they may step up their demands in other aspects of the relationship, distance themselves to punish you, or attempt to manipulate or charm you into giving up the new boundaries. To protect themselves from feelings of inferiority and shame, narcissists must always deny their shortcomings, cruelties, and mistakes.

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Often, they will do so by projecting their own faults on to others. But as difficult as it may be, try not to take it personally. Refuse to accept undeserved responsibility, blame, or criticism. When attacked, the natural instinct is to defend yourself and prove the narcissist wrong. But no matter how rational you are or how sound your argument, they are unlikely to hear you. And arguing the point may escalate the situation in a very unpleasant way. Simply tell the narcissist you disagree with their assessment, then move on.

Know yourself. The best defense against the insults and projections of the narcissist is a strong sense of self. Let go of the need for approval. You What is a narcissistic husband like to be okay with knowing the truth about yourself, even if the narcissist sees the situation differently. Learn what healthy relationships look and feel like. If you come from a narcissistic family, you may not have a very good sense of what a healthy give-and-take relationship is.

The narcissistic pattern of dysfunction may feel comfortable to you. Just remind yourself that as familiar as it feels, it also makes you feel bad. In a reciprocal relationship, you will feel respected, listened to, and free to be yourself. Spend time with people who give you an honest reflection of who you are. Some narcissists isolate the people in their lives in order to better control them.

Look for meaning and purpose in workvolunteeringand hobbies. Instead of looking to the narcissist to make you feel good about yourself, pursue meaningful activities that make use of your talents and allow you to contribute. Ending an abusive relationship is never easy.

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Ending one with a narcissist can be especially difficult as they can be so charming and charismatic—at least at the start of the relationship or if you threaten to leave. There are ways to escape the narcissist—and the guilt and self-blame—and begin the process of healing. Educate yourself about narcissistic personality disorder. Being clear on why you need to end the relationship can help prevent you from being sucked back in. Seek support. During your time together, the narcissist may have damaged your relationships with friends and family or limited your social life.

Making threats or pronouncements will only forewarn the narcissist and enable them to make it more difficult for you to get away. Call in the U. Leaving a narcissist can be a huge blow to their sense of entitlement and self-importance. Cut off all contact with the narcissist. If you have children together, have others with you for any scheduled custody handovers. Allow yourself to grieve.

Breakups can be extremely painfulwhatever the circumstances. Even ending a toxic What is a narcissistic husband like can leave you feeling sad, angry, confused, and grieving the loss of shared dreams and commitments. Healing can take time, so go easy on yourself and turn to family and friends for support. Once the message sinks in that you will no longer be feeding their ego, the narcissist will likely soon move on to exploit someone else.

This is no reflection on you, but rather an illustration of how very one-sided their relationships always are. Due to the very nature of the disorder, most people with NPD are reluctant to admit they have a problem—and even more reluctant to seek help. Even when they do, narcissistic personality disorder can be very challenging to treat.

What is a narcissistic husband like

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